For those of you that don't know, Orleans Parish Prison (OPP) is considered by most to be a pretty miserable place. Violence, barely edible food, hopelessness, and indifferent “management” abound. It's been named one of the 10 worst prisons in America. The Orleans Parish Sheriff's Office (which runs the jail) was forced to sign a federal consent decree to address the problems at OPP. In other words, things got to be so bad that the federal government had to step in. Conditions have improved in recent years, but having the feds step in because you cannot run your own jail properly is not a good look.
All this makes the actions of a group of three men earlier this week in New Orleans very curious. Apparently, the group of men was spotted approaching the outer wall that surrounds the prison complex. One of them then scaled the wall and “left behind” several packages containing narcotics and other contraband. Unsurprisingly, OPSO responded immediately and the three men fled (although it's not mentioned in the article, one would surmise that the designated wall-scaler was able to climb the wall back to the outside). One of the three was later caught by the New Orleans Police Department with a bag containing marijuana, crack cocaine, and heroin.
This foolishness begs all kinds of questions. Was it too difficult to throw the bags over the wall? Did somebody really have to break into the jail to drop off the packages? Did they play rock-paper-scissors to figure out who was going to jump the wall? Did they draw straws with the short straw becoming the designated wall-scaler? Was there any planning that went into this stupendous caper? Did the wall-scaler have any climbing experience (it's a pretty damn high wall)? Had he climbed Half Dome in preparation?
Two questions stand out in my mind though: (1) why on Earth would anybody try and get away with this, and (2) are these guys the dumbest criminals in the world? I can only assume that the answer to the former is that they did it for the money. I'm not so sure about the latter. There are all kinds of stories on the Internet about the “world's dumbest criminals.” Perhaps my personal favorite is the man who tried to rob a bank but got talked into applying for a loan instead.
Nobody is perfect. People make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are really stupid (Lord knows I've been there). Sometimes those mistakes can land a person in legal jeopardy. If you or someone you know is in legal jeopardy, make sure to call the Law Office of Alex Kriksciun today.